Your Fanmail Answered

2nd Jul 2008

Hello, readers. Webmistress Niki here. Part of my job here at Reading by Moonslight is to sort through the fanmail that Claire and Belle receive and take out all the death threats, inappropriate proposals and anything on the list of questions that Belle says will stifle her creativity before passing the letters on to the authors. After reading their latest batch, Claire and Belle thought it would be fun to answer their mail here on the site.

As always, you can send your own fanmail to Claire at claire [at] bymoonslight [dot] com, and Belle can be reached at belle [at] bymoonslight [dot] com.

And by the way, if you’re on LiveJournal, you might like to know that we’ve arranged to have a feed for this site made available for addition to your friendslist.

Enjoy.

Dear Ms. Rasmussen and Ms. Heartley,

I am doing a paper on chemistry in science fiction for a class. I want to write about Between the Rings of Lamba. Can you tell me if the science in the Dorgian Galaxy could actually be possible in the future?

Thanks!
Sophie Dawkchens

Dearest Sophie,

I don’t see why not! Belle and I are very interested in the latest scientistic advances, and we both like to read those sciency magazines that people – like dentists – have in their waiting rooms. So we get a lot of our ideas straight from science!

Good luck in your class, and thanks for writing!

XOXO,
Claire

Dear Claire,

Have you ever thought about collaborating with another author? I have this idea that is really good and original, and I think your audience would really love it. Maybe we could work together?

Let me know, okay? Love,
Alice Hunter

Ms. Hunter,

The answer to your rude and impertinent question is no. Claire has never considered collaborating with anyone else, much less a rank amateur like yourself. Anyone can have ideas. Claire has several of them a day. But it takes a disciplined mind and real Artistry to bring those ideas to Fruition, and unless you can do that – which you cannot – your approach is not merely importunate, but entirely risible.

Cordially,
Belle Heartley

Dear Bella Heartly,

I want to be a writer too. Shuld I take writing classes? What else shuld I do?

Sincerely,
Elizabeth Martin

Dear Elizabeth,

First you should take spelling classes. Then stop. Do not take writing classes; they will only smother your creativity like a pillow over the face of a newborn baby. Would you kill a baby? I suspect not! So why would you ally yourself with those who would seek to murder your own infants of prose?

I am, as my readers are aware, as impervious to criticism as a Teflon pan is impervious to sticking, but even one as stalwart as I could withstand only a few minutes of the one writing class I attended. I would hate to see someone as untried and fragile as yourself undergo the same horrific ordeal.

Sincerely,
Belle Heartley

To Whomever You Are,

Is this site an elaborate joke?

Signed,
Curious

Dear Curious – if that is, indeed, your name –

There is nothing amusing in the creation of fine romance novels, meticulously researched and superbly realised. I understand that some of the Riadorfan plots may be a trifle elaborate for the uninformed reader, but this is a fault further consumption of our Works will easily remedy.

Sincerely,
Belle Heartley

P.S. from Claire – Why would we joke about romance? There’s nothing funny about it! I have never felt the urge to laugh when browsing through the shelves at my local bookstore, perusing the titillating titles and provocative cover art featuring lovely maidens and powerful, sexy men, with their windblown tresses and strong, manly jawlines and brooding eyes and tight pants…

XOXO!

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