Reviews – Reading by Moonslight

Review: Beware a Scot’s Revenge

admin — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 04:28:47 +0000

This time, we’re reviewing Beware a Scot’s Revenge, by Sabrina Jeffries.

“Someone’s going to call your bluff someday, Venetia â€“ you’d better hope it’s not a handsome man.” â€“ Mrs. Charlotte Harris, headmistress.

Lady Venetia Campbell’s visit to her childhood home in Scotland takes a dramatic turn when she’s kidnapped at pistol point by her father’s sworn enemy. Sir Lachlan Ross is widely feared in his guise as The Scottish Scourge, but Venetia remembers her former neighbor as a handsome youth whose attentions she craved. Now a wickedly sexy man, Lachlan’s appeal is even more intoxicatingâ€¦and much more dangerous. Though Lachlan tries to treat her as his foe, his scorching kisses tell another story. And despite his plan to use her as a weapon against her father, Venetia is determined that Lachlan’s lust for revenge will be trumped by an even more powerful desireâ€¦

Webmistress Niki: I chose this book because I enjoyed the first Sabrina Jeffries novel we read so much, and wanted to read more in the series.

Belle: Why are we letting the Webmistress choose our reading material, again?

Claire: Didn’t you like it, Belle? Kidnapping!

Belle: Well, kidnapping, yes. And a near beating to death. And the wildcat. But once again, Sabrina Jeffries has ruined a perfectly acceptable tale of a kidnapped heiress by the son of a wronged man (or is he?) and their eventual marriage with her Pretentious insistence on demonstrating just how much she has researched every tiny detail of this period.

Webmistress Niki: Yes, speaking of the research, I want to talk about the cover.

Claire: Oh, I like the cover! I love the ones where the front cover is all pretty and demure, but on the inside there’s a shirtless man!

Webmistress Niki: Right, but did you notice that in the illustration (which shows a particular scene from the novel), Lachlan’s towel is tartan for some reason?

Belle: Well, it is set in Scotland, Niki.

Webmistress Niki: Exactly! Don’t you see the irony here, in light of Jeffries’s discussion of the way Sir Walter Scott’s pageantry romanticized Scottish culture and made the kilt the universal symbol of Scottish attire?

Claire: Scottish culture is romantic, though, Niki. They have such nice accents!

Belle: And I think kilts are very masculine. Claire, note that for our next novel.

Claire: And kidnapping!

Belle: We’ve done kidnapping, Claire. Remember? Twice.

Claire: Oh, right. Well, it’s still very exciting.

Webmistress Niki: I think we should discuss the story.

Belle: Certainly, if you wish. What is there to discuss?

Webmistress Niki: It’s a pretty complex plot, Belle. And there’s enough sexy stuff to satisfy even you, I’d think.

Lachlan waited until he was sure that Jamie and the lass were well out of hearing, and unlikely to return and surprise him.

Then he unbuttoned his trousers and drawers. Seizing his rampant erection, he pumped it with frantic motions. Before he climbed into that torture chamber of a coach with her, he needed to ease the tension she’d roused. Otherwise he’d never be able to behave himself. He had at least another day of smelling her and hearing her sing and watching her twin beauties rise and fall with each of her breaths.

“Holy Christ!” he muttered as his cock spent itself into the bracken. Just thinking of her breasts made him come off. How the devil was he to last more days with her in a coach?

Belle: I do have to reluctantly applaud Ms. Jeffries for creating a hero so overcome with passion that he succumbs to his mighty urges in the full knowledge that there are protective mother wildcats in the vicinity.

Claire: You know, this is the second novel by Jeffries that we’ve read, and I noticed that there’s some discussion of masturbation in both of them. It’s a little unusual for this genre of romance, and I think it’s quite refreshing. I like the way she portrays a wide variety of healthy sexualities in normative ways.

Belle: …what?

Webmistress Niki: Anyway, I liked it a lot. Five stars!

Claire: I think I’ll name my new kitty after Venetia! Five Clars!

Belle: Two stars – one for the wildcat and one for the bondage.

Review: Pride and Prejudice

admin — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 05:24:37 +0000

Our latest review is of Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen:

When Elizabeth Bennet first meets eligible bachelor Fitzwilliam Darcy, she thinks him arrogant and conceited, while he struggles to remain indifferent to her good looks and lively mind. When she later discovers that Darcy has involved himself in the troubled relationship between his friend Bingley and her beloved sister Jane, she is determined to dislike him more than ever. In the sparkling comedy of manners that follows, Jane Austen shows the folly of judging by first impressions and superbly evokes the friendships, gossip and snobberies of provincial middle-class life.

Claire: Niki picked the book this time! Isn’t that nice? She said that we should read it because it’s classic.

Belle: But we were clearly correct in avoiding it for so long

Webmistress Niki: … what?

Belle: I was aware from the very first sentence that this supposedly “classic” novel would be dull, monotonous and Pretentious without validating its claims to real Art.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

Claire: I had to read that a bunch of times before I got what Austen was saying. Actually, I had to read most parts of the book a bunch of times! Which is weird, because I really love Regency romances, and I’m totally used to reading all the funny words like “verra” for “very” and “aye” instead of “yes.” But the language in Pride and Prejudice was even harder to understand! I don’t know what Austen was thinking when she wrote it like that.

Belle: And what she’s saying is ridiculous, because not every single man in possession of a good fortune wants a wife! Often it is entirely the other way around.

Webmistress Niki: You two do understand that this is a Regency novel? And that a lot of the charm of Austen’s work is in the sarcasm and wit?

Belle: Niki, all I am saying is that a sentence like that cannot even be compared to a sentence like this one, which opens one of our most popular novels:

The lush jungle swamps of Horticult beckoned to Liam O’Angel, weary Galactic soujourner and ex-Riadorfan Imperial Fleet Admiral, as someone might beckon to someone they wanted to come closer.

That sentence is evocative, contains excellent characterization, and is completely comphrensible.

Claire: Well, and even after you get past the first sentence, almost nothing happens in this entire novel! It’s just a lot of dancing and talking. No duels or carriage accidents or anything.

Belle: There is almost a duel in several places! But Austen foolishly denies us. Also, she didn’t include the memorable scene where Colin Firth dives into the lake in a white shirt.

Claire: It’s the worst adaptation from a mini-series that I’ve ever read.

Webmistress Niki: … WHAT?

Belle: One star.

Claire: I hope Austen’s next book is better. Five Clars!

Webmistress Niki: … WHAT?

Review: Crystal Starbeam and the Heart Sword of Jamerica

Claire — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 09:51:17 +0000

Belle: Dear Readers: I apologise for Withholding from you the delights of our reviews but Sadly one of our readers had the unmitigated gall to send us Fan Fiction. As you know, Claire and I despise fan fiction. We do not pursue it legally because we believe in freedom of speech, but it is vile and all those who write it are despicable plagiarists scavenging from the works of Real Authors like vultures scavenging a maggot-ridden corpse.

Webmistress Niki: Belle was a little upset, so we took a brief hiatus from reviews.

Claire: But, Belle, don’t you think it’s important for us to encourage young writers, even when they’re scavenging from our corpses? Sometimes a little baby vulture just needs some carrion to get started with! Didn’t you become a writer because you wanted to give Paradise Lost a better ending?

Belle: Claire! Paradise Unlost is a thrilling story of Lucifer building beautiful new wings and flying back to heaven and God apologising! It is Literature, not Fan Fiction. It is nothing like THIS:

Crystal Starbeam and the Heart Sword of Jamerica by Crystal Starbeam.

“Hi Xantony,” Said his mother Andriana who was Queen of Riadorf. “This is your cousin Crystal who’s the adopted daughter of my sister Kelsey. She’s from the planet Jamerica.”

“Hi Xantony,” said the silver-tressed girl with pink glitter barettes in her silver hair. She was five foot eight with a perfect figure who looked like a model and she had deep eyes that were sometimes violet like the dawn and sometimes black like midnight. She also had silver black and violet wings. “Wow your handsome.”

“Thanks!” said Xantony, Crown prince of Riadorf. “You look like a model.”

“XANTONY!!!” yelled his husband Francoque really loudly. “You can’t talk to anyone! Youc an only talk to me!!” And then he slapped him!

Xantony fell into the wall and looked really sad!

“Don’t hurt my adopted cousin!!” Said Crystal. She drew a shining sword from her heart which glowed with a pure pink light. “HEART SWORD IMMOLATION!”

“OH NO!!” Francoque yelled. “My heart! Because it is black it is burning!” And he died.

“Wow thanks Crystal.” Xantony said. “No one would stand up to Frankcqoue before. You have saved me!!”

Crystal blushed and looked really pretty, like a model. “I could only save you because I love you!” she said. “That’ how my magic works I guess.”

“You should get married said Adrianara. “I am a lawyer.”

ThE END.

Webmistress Niki: Jesus Haploid Christ.

Claire: What? No, Jesus wasn’t in Belle’s story!

Belle: It’s difficult to know where to start. First, Jamerica does not appear in any of the extant maps of the Dorgian Galaxy.

Claire: I think the big problem is that the author wasn’t paying attention to how soulbonding works. If Crystal killed Francoque, then Xantony would die, too. That would be so sad!

Webmistress Niki: I’m not sure that’s the big problem.

Belle: Exactly. Clearly the big problem is poor research. If the “author” had just checked the Dorgapedia, she would have noted that Andrinara has no siblings. Especially not ones named Kelsey. The entire story is based on an impossibility. Also, a heart sword does not sound at all scientific.

Claire: It’s true that Andrinara is a lawyer, though.

Belle: And the wings do sound interesting.

Webmistress Niki: I never thought I’d say this, but – can we get back to reading and reviewing romance novels soon?

Belle: Certainly. As soon as you remove all traces of this abomination from the Internets.

Webmistress Niki: …Okay. I’ll get to work scrubbing the tubes right away.

Claire: Anyway, I think Crystal should get five Clars for effort! But next time, Crystal, you should make up your own characters and universe! Like maybe you could write about the heartsword warrioresses of Crystalia or something?

Belle: Or not at all.

Review: The Black Jewels Trilogy

Claire — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 19:00:15 +0000

Our latest review is of the Black Jewels Trilogy – Daughter of the Blood, Heir to the Shadows and Queen of the Darkness – omnibus edition, by Anne Bishop:

Seven hundred years ago, a Black Widow witch saw an ancient prophecy come to life in her web of dreams and visions.

Now the Dark Realm readies itself for the arrival of its Queen, the Witch who will wield more power than even the High Lord of Hell himself. But the Queen is still young, still open to influenceâ€”and corruption.

Whoever controls the Queen controls the Darkness. Three menâ€”sworn enemiesâ€”know this. And they know the power that hides behind the blue eyes of an innocent young girl. And so begins a ruthless game of politics and intrigue, magic and betrayal, where the weapons are hate and loveâ€”and the prize could be terrible beyond imaginingâ€¦.

Webmistress Niki: I don’t even know where to begin. Plot-wise, this is sort of a standard fantasy trope where a prophesied young woman is born to save the world from the vicious and petty-minded. Fortunately, she has super-crazy-awesome magical powers, and after the requisite trauma, she succeeds.

But the entire trilogy is heavily dusted with the literary equivalent of high-grade crack. It’s bizarre and hilarious, and I could not stop reading.

Claire: Hilarious? I thought so much of it was so, so serious!

Webmistress Niki: The male protagonists are named Saetan, Daemon and Lucivar!

Claire: So?

Webmistress Niki: So those are… uh, well, what about the telepathic magic animals? What about the unicorns?

Claire: Oh, I love unicorns! And the ones in this series were so talented! Just look at this part where Queen Moonshadow is described:

While most of the unicorns were some shade of white, there were a few rare dappled grays. This mare was a pale pewter with a white mane and tail. An Opal Jewel hung from a silver ring around her horn.

She was not only a Queen, she was also a Black Widow. The only combination that was rarer was the Queen/Black Widow/Healer. [Lucivar had] never heard of a witch like that when heâ€d lived in Terreille. In Kaeleer, there were only threeâ€”Karla, Gabrielle, and Jaenelle.

Webmisress Niki: Well. Belle, you’re uncharacteristically quiet.

Belle: I am appalled beyond words.

Webmistress Niki: Really?

Belle: Yes. This series is utterly ridiculous and I cannot comprehend how it outsells much worthier works. It’s not even a romance! The protagonist doesn’t even engage in consensual sexual activity until the third book!

Webmistress Niki: In the first book, Jaenelle is twelve.

Belle: Exactly! Why not jump straight to the third book? Why all this pointless setup? Not to mention that some of the terms in this book are completely ludicrous. At one point this Janelle wears a dress made out of “spidersilk”. Spidersilk!

Webmistress Niki: As opposed to “space trousers”?

Belle: Precisely!

Claire: Maybe the first part could have been about the unicorns some more, and Jaenelle could have come in later, when she was already of age.

Belle: Not even that could have saved this book from total incompetence, Claire. Did you not notice that the magic system is completely impossible?

Claire: I don’t really remember. I was a little distracted by the… uh… rings.

Belle: Oh, well, I did like those.

Webmistress Niki: I, too, found the magic cock rings a source of enjoyment.

Claire: It was just so confusing! Not like the talking giant cats or unicorns at all!

Belle: Oh, dearest Claire. It’s quite simple. Cock rings used by the bad women are used to control and punish men who are honourable and good. Cock rings used by the good women are a sign that they honour and respect their mates. Jaenelle, being an especially good character, creates rings that not only honour the men in her life, but also mean she is able to communicate with and shield them!

Claire: Oh. Well that makes perfect sense.

Belle: But only if you accept the magic system, which isn’t based on science at all.

Claire: I guess you’re right, Belle. But I did like parts of this series a lot. So many characters had amnesia! And it was so nice that absolutely everyone was so special and unique!

Webmistress Niki: Especially Jaenelle. Not only does she have a Jewel more powerful than anyone else, she has thirteen of them. Not only is she pretty, but she has eyes that are alternatively sapphire blue and midnight blue. Not only does she have a lover, but he is the sexiest man of all time. And by the third book, she rules a third of the world.

Claire: You make it sound like she’s perfect Niki, but it clearly says in the book that she can’t cook.

Webmistress Niki: Because she’s so powerful that her magic makes the cooking go wrong.

Claire: I know! It’s so sad.

Belle: Enough of this! Let us give the horrid thing its marks and have done.

One star, obviously.

Claire: Five Clars for the special unicorns and the amnesia!

Webmistress Niki: You know, I really liked it, even though I can’t quite articulate why. Four stars.

Review: Let Sleeping Rogues Lie

Claire — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 07:01:11 +0000

Our latest review is of Let Sleeping Rogues Lie, by Sabrina Jeffries:

“Don’t let yourself be fooled, Madeline: once a rake, always a rake.”
— Mrs. Charlotte Harris, headmistress

When Madeline Prescott took a teaching position at Mrs. Harris’s School for Young Ladies, it was to help restore her father’s reputation. Instead, she’s in danger of ruining her own. The devilishly handsome Anthony Dalton, Viscount Norcourt, has agreed to provide “rake lessons” to Mrs. Harris’s pupils so they can learn how to avoid unscrupulous gentlemen, and Madeline is to oversee his classes. She has always believed that attraction is a scientific matter, easily classified and controlled — until she’s swept into the passionate desire that fiercely burns between her and Anthony. Nothing could be more illogical than risking everything for a dalliance with a rake — even one who’s trying to behave himself. Yet nothing could be more tempting….

Claire: I decided to buy this book because the idea of the “rake lessons” was so outrageously intriguing! I was a little disappointed to find that the way they come into the novel was pretty practical and reasonable, and that they didn’t actually play much of a role in the story.

Belle: Exactly. When I see “rake lessons”, I expect constant and steamy sex scenes, and I was horribly disappointed.

Webmistress Niki: I thought the sex scenes were really great, though! I mean, wow. I was really impressed.

Belle: Niki, you lack all appreciation for the Art of writing. Just look at this extract:

His mouth sought hers again, kissing her so thoroughly that she didnâ€t notice where his other hand was headed until it slid down her gown to between her legs. But when he rubbed her mons veneris through the layers of fabric, and she instinctively arched into his hand, she knew she was in deep, deep trouble.

Belle: There is such a wonderful selection of terms for that part of the female anatomy – “womanly centre”; “succulent honeypot”; “pink pleasure cave” – why would anyone resort to such banal and pretentious language?

Webmistress Niki: I thought the language choices in the novel were excellent. The character of Anthony does think of Madeline’s vagina as a “honeypot” at one point, but Madeline is a naturalist, so it makes perfect sense that she would use the Latin terminology for body parts. And Anthony’s internal terminology for his own sex organs also makes sense, given that he was taught by his abusive aunt that all sexual feelings are sinful. Though I have to admit I found it way less sexy than Madeline’s language.

Claire: One thing that I thought was interesting about the sex scenes was that birth control was discussed and used. It’s an important aspect of sexuality that I don’t see very often in my reading, and I thought it was neat that Sabrina Jeffries did that! Except that there are way easier ways. Like setting your books in a future society where venereal diseases don’t exist anymore and implanted birth control devices can be controlled by thought waves! If she’d done something like that, she could have used the pages where she describes early condoms for another sex scene.

Webmistress Niki: I think that’s a good approach for a sci-fi romance, Claire, but maybe not for a Regency story. Honestly, I really liked all of the research that went into this book. Not only did Jeffries write about “French letters,” but she also did research on nitrous oxide, anti-masturbation pamphlets, and the existence of rhinos in menageries in 18th and 19th century England.

Belle: Yes, wasn’t that Outrageously Pretentious? I found that little note at the back that backgrounds the novel in the historical period and discusses some of her sources extremely vulgar. Claire and I research all of our novels extensively, and yet we never list the Wikipedia articles we use in our titles.

The only thing I had any liking for in this book was the plot.

Claire: Wasn’t it exciting? I loved all the little twists and turns! And so many dark secrets!

Belle: No amnesia, though.

Claire: Or carriage accidents, even. But scars!

Belle: Scars are all right, I suppose.

Webmistress Niki: And don’t forget, ladies, recreational drug use!

Claire: Oh, yes!

Belle: Well, yes, that was also mildly intriguing.

Webmistress Niki: Um… Anyway. Five stars!

Claire: And five Clars!

Belle: Two stars. I do hope we shan’t encounter such works again.

Review: Cerulean Sins

admin — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:41:19 +0000

This week, we’re reviewing Cerulean Sins, by Laurell K. Hamilton:

Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter is not quite as human as she once was. Consumed by both the lusts of the vampire and the primal hungers of the wereleopards, her desires must be sated. But it is Jean-Claude, the Master Vampire, who needs her now.

When she is asked to reanimate the body of a long-dead corpse, it seems like just another case to Anita. What she will soon discover is that the corpse may hold the secret to an ancient crime that not everyone wants to be remembered…

In this pulse-pounding new story of suspense and sensuality, Anita will need to muster all the dark forces of her passion is she is to save the ones she loves the most.

Belle: First of all, I would like to register my Immense Displeasure with the taint of censorship which wafts around this novel like the odor of a very smelly, rotten corpse.

Webmistress Niki: It was censored? I didn’t realize it was even edited.

Belle: Editors are censors, Niki. In any case, authoritative source Wikipedia informs us that the title Cerulean Sins refers to a lingerie store that had been included in the novel. However, the vile red scissors of censorship deemed this “too racy”.

But on to the novel itself: Let me begin by acknowledging, I think for all of us, the bravery and creative vision of Ms. Hamilton, who has so wholeheartedly embraced the primacy of primal lust over anything with the slightest resemblance to coherent plot. I stand amazed and humbled.

Webmistress Niki: I am also amazed.

Claire: Honestly, I think this book could have used some more romantic romance.

Belle: Claire, I know you found some of the metaphysical boundary-pushing a little too intense, but what is not romantic about this situation?

He found a rhythm that was fast, and deep, and hard, as if he were trying to shove himself out the other side of me. He beat his body into mine with a thick, meaty sound.

The orgasm caught me unprepared. One moment I was caught up in the rhythm of his body in mine, and the next I was screaming, writhing underneath him. I raked nails down his body, anywhere I could touch him, and when that wasn’t enough I clawed my own body.

Jason’s screams echoed mine, and his body tightened against me, spine bowing, head thrown back, and a howl spilled from his lips. The ardeur drank him down, his skin, his sweat, his seed.

Claire: I just feel like maybe they could have lit some candles first or something!

Webmistress Niki: As far as character goes, I personally found Anita somewhat unsympathetic. It’s hard to really identify with a heroine who gets a deus ex machina to save her in every book.

Claire: What?

Belle: I’ll explain later, Claire.

Niki, you naturally fail to recognise the Genius of this decision. Less page space dedicated to a more organic solution of problems raised earlier in the book means more page space dedicated to superbly realised vampire threesomes.

Webmistress Niki: Well, I do like some aspects of Hamilton’s approach to polyamory, which you don’t see often in romance novels. Too often it’s just one true love.

Claire: I like one true love! But, yes, sometimes it’s nice to have a little variety. Or lots of variety!

Belle: And many loves means lots of discussion about who one should be doing when. Anita’s torment – because she is forced to have sex by a vampire lust infection – is delicately played out, as in this beautifully constructed paragraph:

I opened my eyes and found Nathaniel close enough to touch. I stared into those compassionate lilac eyes, that soft, caring face, and I hated him. I don’t know why. But I hated him just a little. I hated him for not being someone else. I hated him for the hair that fell to his knees. I hated him because I didn’t love him. Or maybe I hated him because I did. But it wasn’t what I felt for Richard. I hated him, and I hated me. In that one instant I hated everyone in my life, everyone and everything, and me most of all.

Claire: That is very poignant.

Belle: Precisely. I’m not sure how anyone in their right mind could object to these books on the grounds of lack of romance. Or any grounds.

Claire: I guess you’re right…

Belle: Yes.

Webmistress Niki: I certainly look forward to reading more from this series. I haven’t been this entertained for a while.

Claire: Cerulean is a really pretty color! Five Clars!

Belle: Exquisite work. Five stars.

Webmistress Niki: I don’t feel I have enough experience to-

Belle: And five stars from Niki.

Review: The Devil Who Tamed Her

admin — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 07:05:25 +0000

Our very first review is of The Devil Who Tamed Her, by Johanna Lindsey:

Ophelia Reid is an incomparable beauty and a ruthless gossip. Having purposely wrecked her engagement to future marquis Duncan MacTavish, Ophelia wants to return to London’s marriage mart and make her own choice of a wealthy husband. But on her journey home, something unexpected happens…. The heir to a dukedom, Raphael Locke is the most sought-after young lord in England. When MacTavish claims that Ophelia will never be anything but spiteful, Rafe bets his friend otherwise. Whisking her to his country estate, Rafe shows his furious, sharp-tongued “guest” the error of her ways and discovers the surprising reasons for her bad behavior. When Rafe champions the new and improved Ophelia’s re-entry to London society, marriage proposals pour in. But has Rafe gone and fallen in love with Ophelia himself?

Claire: Well, the first thing I noticed about this book was the beautiful cover, with the pretty pink dress! I think heroines who can ride are so accomplished and impressive, especially bareback in silk gowns. I also thought this story was really hot! Which is impressive, because a lot of it takes place in snow.

Belle: That is a very clever pun, Claire.

Claire: What?

Belle: As an Artiste, I of course restrict my reading intake severely so as not to “poison the well” of my artistic forest as it blossoms into Story. (Some â€œwritersâ€ will advise you to read widely. This is a nonsense.) However, since Claire has described this novel, I am certainly well-placed to pass judgement upon it as a modern masterpiece.

Webmistress Niki: Well, I actually read it. And personally, I had a hard time really sympathizing with Ophelia. Her problem is that she’s too beautiful.

Belle: Niki, you mustn’t be prejudiced against those afflicted with astonishing beauty.

Claire: And her friends lie to her because she’s so beautiful. That must be really hard! No wonder she’s spiteful and spreads rumors!

But even if you don’t like Ophelia, you really have to like Raphael Locke. He’s so good at helping people! See, this is what his Aunt Esmerelda says about him:

â€œMy nephewâ€s motives are well-intentioned. He likes to help people. He usually doesnâ€t even think twice about it. And this certainly isnâ€t the first time heâ€s gone out of his way to do so. He didnâ€t take the typical tour of the Continent when he was away from England, you know. He single-handedly saved a bunch of orphans from abuse when one of them picked his pocket and explained heâ€d done so in order to get his sister out of the dreadful orphanage heâ€d run away from. It took half a year, but Rafe found every one of those orphans a good home. He also helped to evacuate a whole town in France that got floodedâ€¦â€

Belle: Note how cleverly this exposition is inserted into the story as a natural part of character development? Let us discuss the masterly plot.

Webmistress Niki: Right. So, about the plot. I didn’t really get why Rafe has to kidnap Ophelia in order to help her.

Belle: Because she is spirited and reckless, Niki. I thought you said you read it.

Claire: And she’s so resistant to being helped, too. I mean, he really has to force her to enjoy herself sometimes, like in this scene here, where they’re trying to keep from freezing to death in a carriage by generating some body heat through exertion:

He somehow got that roving hand of his under her skirt. She did feel a slight draft as he did so, but barely noticed it as his fingers felt their way along her thigh. And then she literally jumped in his lap when his finger touched her directly between her legs. He held her tighter. He wasnâ€t going to let her deny herself the immense pleasure he was capable of giving her, but she had no thought of stopping him, was too caught up in the novelty of the new sensations he was evoking.

Belle: This is a love scene that is almost good enough to be part of a Riadorf novel, and that is not an accolade I give lightly.

Webmistress Niki: It’s pretty special.

Belle: There, I knew you weren’t as ignorant as you pretend. I think the final section of the book is probably the most impressive – Claire, would you like to recount it?

Claire: Oh, it’s my favorite part! Ophelia and Rafe have married, but they haven’t admitted the depth of their feelings to one another yet.

Webmistress Niki: In fact, they’re actively avoiding actually talking to each other.

Belle: Yes, you see how cleverly the plot delays the climax for the appropriate moment? Mere common sense is not permitted to interfere in the grandeur of Story.

Claire: The problem is that Rafe thinks that Ophelia hasn’t changed, even after everything he’s done to help her. But she actually has! And when she meets up with an old friend of hers while shopping with her mother, you can see how much she’s grown as a person when they have an emotional scene in which they begin to forgive one another.

And then Ophelia gets run over by a carriage! It’s so exciting!

Belle: Yes, up to this point the story was lacking a little in excitement, including only a broken engagement, a kidnapping, a moment of peril where both protagonists avoided freezing to death only through their passion and a marriage ceremony that took place because of mutual spite. It needed that certain something to make it truly memorable.

Claire: I think a bout of amnesia would have really helped, but the carriage accident was pretty good.

Belle: Oh, I agree. Nearly every story is improved by amnesia.

Claire: I give it five out of five Clars. That’s like stars, only from Claire!

Belle: There wasn’t enough love-making for my taste. Three stars.

Webmistress Niki: I don’t think I really have enough experience to give ratings for this sort of novel, yet.

Claire: Five stars from Niki!